There are times when a guy just has to get shamelessly drunk- a Krakow stag do is one of such occasions. Such behaviour should not be praised of course, but given the stressful times most of us, at times, live with can only beg for comprehension in understanding it is a worthy cause to undertake.
A real man rarely drinks and when he has to do it, it is in a way cultured and not offending a noble male reputation. Today we will tell you how to grasp this task with style and not to hit the bottom of the barrel .
1. Always wear a black shirt
Even if you think that the immaculate white shirt from Ralph Lauren contrasts beautifully with your tanned chest, think about later in the evening. Probably after the first three rounds of beers during your stag nite you will still look respectable and preened like a cock’s feathers. After another three a bold chance that you will decorate your shirt with the early sketches and art resembling a Pollack beer splatter version. If you keep walking down that bumpy road it will soon capitulate and decorate your entire garb with an artistic tapestry intricately woven from the contents of your delicate stomach. Then you will appreciate that appearing sober is easier when you are wearing a black shirt.
2. Get the attention of the bartender or waiter with the eye contact only
For there is nothing worse than a semiconscious drunk that snaps his fingers and shouts at the busy employees. Focus your cloudy eyes on the waiter. He will definitely pay attention to you. It is known that people with psychic abilities are employed specifically for this role. A seasoned bar worker will not only notice you in an instant but also read your mind as to what you would like to order.
However, be sure not to seek visual contact with the bartender when your glass is still full. This behaviour creates an awkward atmosphere and in the extreme cases it definitely questions your motives and objective.
3. Never tell the bartender he made your drink too strong
For as a real guy, without batting an eyelid, you should pour this rocket fuel concoction down your neck and eat the glass as well, power with powerful. Even if it is strong enough to bring down an angry gorilla on the spot, it still remains a fucking drink.
4. After the ninth shot, don't look in the mirror
This can seriously shake your confidence and significantly lower your morale whilst struggling to drag a randomly met female into your dark grotto of debauchery. Believe us, you don't have to look into a mirror. You look great! Absolutely not so, after you you see that you are drunk and you are only one line away from calling for your Scottish friend, Hughie in the toilet.
5. Act like a guy when you go to the toilet
Women make common pilgrimages to the toilet. During this breakneck expedition they exchange gossip, dishonestly compliment each other on their outfits and get in into cosy chats during dropping the kids off at the pool. Men don't do these things. The bathroom serves only for the purpose for which it was designed for, we regard any other activities as a violation dignity in this holy place.
6. Offering a woman you don't know a drink is good idea
However, giving her more drinks is a very bad idea. By behaving in this way, it is written on your forehead the words “I am Complex, desperate and will pay any amount as long as you give me your undying attention", and you will probably be recognized as such by the said woman. Therefore, stop at one drink. You do the rest with your charm and brilliant sense of humour.
7. In case of any uncertainty, remember that the fuller glass is always yours
It is such an unwritten rule, used by our great-grandfathers for years. If you are not sure which glass belongs to you, always take the glass with the most amount in it. In such situations, the law of the fastest and craftiest is what matters. Nobody will have no objections if you inadvertently appropriate someone else's glass. Well, because how could you know?
8. Swap your inebriation for something more positive
Let us not delude ourselves, drinking copious amounts of high-proof alcohol is not intended for appreciating the delicious taste (aye sire, we can already hear the voice of indignation from whisky gourmets), it’s just for getting into an euphoric state of more rather than less intoxication. People who are one step away from completing a permanent brain processing glitch most often attract attention with their incoherent speech and raised voice. Therefore, when you feel that this inevitable moment is approaching, keep your vocabulary to a minimum by using easy to pronounce words. Speak little but succinctly. If you play it right you will be considered an enigmatic and extremely intriguing person.
Revel in the moment and get phone numbers from all the new acquaintances you met that evening and without telling anyone discreetly slip out of the premises before your lopsided walk spoils the intriguing mystery man appearance you so cunningly adopted whilst shielding that argument in your stomach with its contents because you know sooner or late
