Are you the Knight in shining armour on a pure white steed?
1. Romance & being romantic – Polish girls expect their man to be a chivalrous gentleman, always thinking and acting according to those traditions of laying one’s coat on a puddle of water to protect her dainty feet and high heel shoes. If you perpetuate this attention and courtesy you will be rewarded ten-fold. Learn to appreciate the spring season odour in the air, sunsets and out of city jaunts. Alas, more than the attention afforded to your fair damsel, pay acute attention to your own appearance as this too can sour the apple of love and suffer the wrath of a thousand words that will cut you down as easy as harvesting hay for animal fodder, look on the bright side though, at least it’s only words and not a sharpened blade even if it feels like it. Make the effort to ‘bella presenza’ and you will be over the full glowing moon in intimate bliss for all eternity or until you have to get up for work the next day.
2. Elegant & elegance - Even if the house is on fire and cascading around her a Polish women will make sure her appearance is tip top before exiting the burning premises, they are experts in emergency make-overs and take the utmost pride in looking their best in any given moment. While in today’s modern world we see people go to the local shop early in the morning for milk or schoolchildren’s snacks in their bedroom attire or even taking the kids to school in pyjamas, Polish women would never contemplate such a sacrilege. Polish girls are inventive fashionistas and are able to look a million dollars in a Lidl bin liner aided by elastic and some strategic nip & tucks and side slits. Time to ditch the track suits going on a date but definitely smart casual for men as it is most appealing to the well-dressed, not over-dressed girls.
3. Hospitality & tradition – This is a daunting task for some, especially the girl in question, whose parents and relatives have probably inquired, hinted or blatantly demanded when their grandchildren will be arriving. Every Polish girl must endure this tradition of finding a good man and settle down, all the aunts giving advice and not quite understanding the modern girl with today’s opportunities in life as well as finding Mr. Right who, by the way, has to have at least an Audi 4 in the eyes of the father to be able to support his little girl. Nevertheless, when meeting the parents et al, Polish women are amiable and formidable hosts and will lavish you with all their homemade culinary delights, pace yourself and refuse nothing, especially the jellied herring.
4. In sickness & hungover – This is one of the most beautiful aspects of Polish women, when their man is ill and confined to bed they will do their utmost to help you recover. Everything is taken care of, no trouble at all, you are nursed and nurtured back to good health. In the case of a hangover, there are mitigating circumstances, that is, it has to be a special occasion where drinking the national beverage, vodka, in copious amounts which renders you incapable of uttering a single word, she is there to remedy the situation the morning after. Beware though, as cited in N.1, you must reciprocate the loving attention received by honouring her selflessness in time of need with an outrageous act of romantic surprise, a simple thank you will suffice for a short period only. Hangovers from watching a cup final with your mates qualifies for minimal treatment, of letting you back into the apartment.
5. Pet hates & peeves – For as much as Polish women adore you there are certain annoying habits and actions that are not tolerated and can linger in limbo until you alone discover what they are. Polish women do not cause scenes they leave you to find or understand the cause and effect. Good Luck with that.
I. Unruly and unkept hair, solution, regular haircuts and shampoo.
II. Not taking your shoes off when coming home, solution, think slippers.
III. Not expressing how good something is after she spent time on it, solution, ready with sincere compliments.
IV. Missing the toilet bowl when urinating, solution, safety incontinence pants or an Ali Express personal PeePee Bottle (fits all sizes).
V. Knobby knobbers, solution, don’t be a knob, you have a special woman who will truly fulfil you beyond your wildest desires.
Polish women are unique in every way, it is up to you to discover that and treasure it, with care, attention and a vintage bottle of wine, preferably red during a candle lit dinner for 2 in a restaurant with a terrazzo overlooking a river or a beer & basket of chips in the pub garden, that’s Polish women too. They only have eyes for you.
And what’s the best way to meet Polish women ? Obviously taking a guided pub crawl in Krakow when on the stag do !