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How to be a pick up artist abroad

Whether it’s a lads night out, Krakow stag do weekend or a team tour the art, and it is an art, of talking to the women of another country gives you a buzz of excitement, however, what works back home may not have the same appeal abroad and leave you looking like a spare todger at an orgy. Your charm will do no harm especially if you don’t know the language.

As comfortable as you may feel interacting with women some approaches fall short of expectations for many reasons, being outrageously inebriated is the major cause. There you are talking loudly and slurring your speech with the over-exaggerated laugh that would scare even the vengeful ghost girl, Samara from the film The Ring! That is not cool, even your mates distance themselves from you. So, pace yourself on the drink side in order to retain a modicum of sanity when your flirting begins. You can often see the signs of a connection, you know, fleeting glances, a rye smile or direct eye contact but tripping over while responding to it and landing at her feet because your legs are no longer listening to your brain after 9 shots on the trot is, once again, not cool.

monkey with beer

Play it cool by learning one or two words of the local language like please and thank you, hello or good evening is a star opener to break the ice. Your usual chat up line said with a thick accent is wasted abroad, it falls on deaf ears even if the girl in question has a reasonable command of English. Stick to simple sentences and take your time when speaking. However, body language is the overall winner in the communication department. The nonchalant touch, allowing the girl to enter your personal space and facing square on are all good signals in the art of flirting. 

A definite no, no is wolf-whistling at women as they pass by while you are sat at an outdoor bar as invariably with a negative response there is always someone in the group that shouts out, show us ya tits, luv in defiance and this can upset the locals to the point of contacting the local police which could lead to someone having an early shower or worse such as being forced to pick up the soap while in the shower, metaphorically speaking. As far as flirting reputations go the British, unfortunately, bear the tag of being crass or insensitive this maybe an incentive to sharpen your wit and tact when holiday romancing, abroad the girls expect a perfect English gentleman up to a certain point that is, so opening a door or laying your jacket over a puddle so her dainty feet and delicate shoes remain unblemished is to be expected of you with the English aplomb of Lord Byron or Sir Percy Shelley two well-known romancers of many European acquaintances. This is the difference between being a Lover Boy instead of a Blubber Boy, play it cool  and let your James Bond appeal rise to the surface to vanquish Dr. No your arch enemy.

Speaking of arches, men when in flirting mode often arch their bodies particularly when something amusing has been said. Beware of this intimidating act of thrusting your pelvis towards the girl in question whilst leaning back and laughing, not only do you look like a plonker to all witnessing this, it could hamper the pamper to the extent of being officially declared a technical virgin for quite some time. Play it cool, extreme body movements kill the mood and invokes the clear message of the dreaded rejection. Men suffer terribly from rejection and to remedy this they drink more alcohol than necessary to bolster the infamous Dutch courage with hilarious results at times. Inhibition is thrown to the wind and you circle the dancefloor waiting for the slow music to smooch with your chosen maid of honour whom you envisage dishonoured in your minds-eye, whilst in the UK this kind of liaison driven by an alcohol induced atmosphere is normal practice but abroad it is less accepted, you have to interact socially to qualify for a smooch or you could end up with just a dis and no honour at all. 

drunk kermit

If a woman accepts a drink from you it does not mean that you are ‘in’, abroad it means she is curious, if she accepts another one without returning the favour it could mean you should make your excuses and vacate the premises. Lounge lizards can be both male and female,  if it was to easy to get into conversation then be on the lookout as you could loose the contents of your trousers without even getting them off!

The language of love, passion and romance is not only spoken but shown in physical ways and through the senses. To flirt is an art and you have many resources at your disposal to accentuate, so, make sure the lettuce from your kebab you ate is not stuck to your teeth and your shirt is sauce free to get you off to a good start in this art.

Every man, no matter where they live in the world yearns to hear the immortal words of fiery passion whispered intimately in ya lug-hole by the damsel, ragazza or femme fatale ‘How do you like your eggs in the morning?’, that feeling is impressive as you managed to impress her enough to a flight of fancy and unbound romance. So, wise up, step up and be flirtatious, loose the Blubber Boy attitude. In Spain a popular Latin phrase is, Ecce Homo or Behold the Man but on the flip side is Ecce Mono meaning Behold the Monkey, your choice. 



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